


Warfstache (And Friends) Save Christmas

by Sweetestlittledarling



Series: Markiplier/Jackseptic Eye Ego Christmas Series [18]
Category: Markiplier Egos, WKM - Fandom, Who Killed Markiplier, jacksepticeye, jacksepticeye egos - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: After Wkm, Christmas, Ego Christmas, Jinglebells, Other, santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 23:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13134531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetestlittledarling/pseuds/Sweetestlittledarling
Summary: When Anti get's a hold of Santa's magical jinglebells, it's up to a few good souls to stop him...For the Ego Christmas thingie on Tumblr. For prompts #19 (Santa), #20 (Sleigh), #21 (Snowmen), #22 (Jingle bells)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to say this outright...This was not my best work. I was trying to do a longer story with the time and the holiday season, I failed. I apologize and I'm going to post this up mostly because I want to not miss any part of the challenge I've done so far. So please don't be to hard on me as it was going to be a beautiful story before I ruined it. Still, it was a lot of fun at some points:).

It’s the night before the night before Christmas and you are in your apartment, on the computer, doing what you do best, working on editing videos. You sigh as you glance over at the clock. It reads eight pm. You wanted to make sure to get this last batch and out while Mark is off seeing his family. Suddenly your phone beings to hum. You pick it up and smile. “Speak of the devil,” you say as you hit the accept button. “Hey Mark, how’s Cincinnati?”

             “Hey yourself, and it’s great. It feels good to be home.”

             You feel a little pang inside as you wish you could say the same. “I’m glad,” you say, sitting back in your chair. “And you’ll be happy to know I’m almost done editing those videos, so they’ll be going out on schedule.”

             “Your working still?”

             “Well, it’s not like I have much else to do.”

             “That’s actually why I called. I wanted to make sure that you were okay. So…are you okay?”

             The worry in Mark’s voice makes you feel bad. You don’t want him worrying about you while he’s with his family. “I’m fine,” you say, the only sort of lying. Physically you are okay and that counts for something, right?

             “You should call up the guys, see if you can hang out with someone for Christmas. I don’t like the idea of you being by yourself.”

             “I’m fine,” you say again, trying to be more convincing. “And I don’t want to be a burden on anyone right now, not while they have their own lives and families to worry about.” You, of course, have none of that, considering that you are a transplant from another universe with no living family to speak of…but you don’t bring that up.

             “You are not a burden! You are our friend. We care about you and we want you to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

             You smile. Mark is an adorable dork at times. “Thanks, Mark.”

             “Just…call someone if things get bad okay? And if things get super bad I will find you a plane ride to Cincinnati and you can spend Christmas with us. We can be king of the squirrels together!”

             You laugh as you roll your eyes. “Sure, thing Mark, have a great holiday and say hello to the squirrels for me.”

             “Will do, see you when I get back.”

             You hit the button and toss the phone onto your desk. You take a moment to stretch out your arms and legs, feeling the strain of having sat for a couple hours. You need a break, and in truth, you really could use a drink. You get to your feet and walk out of your room and out into the hallway. Your apartment is quiet right now. As you walk down the hallway you think about what Mark said. You call one of your other friends. In the past, you’ve enjoyed spending Christmas with your chosen family. This makes you remember the last Christmas you had back in your homeworld (home dimension? You still aren’t sure what to call it yet). You pause in your movements as you think about the people you spent your time with…especially Damien. No, you think shaking your head. It does no good to bring up memories like that, not when you are feeling the way you are right now. You’ll only start missing him and then you’ll be in even more depressed then you are now. But it’s too late and you can feel that inner sad feeling that you get when you think of Damien’s perfect face. You groan as you run a hand through your hair. It’s going to be a long holiday.

             You make it down to your kitchen and manage to grab a glass of water, despite the ever-growing sadness inside you. What you need to do is focus on getting the videos done and then go to bed, you tell yourself. Tomorrow is a new day and you will find some way to deal with all of this. As you come back to your room however you find the door closed. Wait did you close the door? With glass in one hand, you reach out and open the door.

             The glass you are holding hits the floor as you are suddenly hit by the sound of a cheering crowd and the sight of not your room, but the familiar set of WarfStache’s talk show. And there in the middle of all of it is Warfstache, grinning ear to ear.

             “And now to welcome my first guest, and a close friend of mine, the former district attorney!”

             You blink at the scene and then shake your head. “Nope,” you say as you turn to leave, not able to deal with this crap right now. But Warfstache grabs you by the arm and you are helpless as he pulls you out in front of the crowd. “Warf!” you moan as he wraps an arm around your shoulder. “Please don’t do this to me! I am really not in the mood!”

             “Come on, old friend!” Warf says, still smiling, “it’s Christmas! And I’ve got a very special surprise for you! But first let me introduce our other guest, another good friend of mine, Darkiplier!”

             “Dark?” you gasp. Oh no, no, no…

             But it is Dark who appears, looking handsome and foreboding as usual, his hands clamped behind his back. And he takes one look at you and his eyes narrow. “What are they doing here?” he asks in his calm cold voice. You can just feel the darkness seeping off him and if you weren’t being held by Warf at that moment you probably would have run.

             “I actually would like to be anywhere but here,” You confess, wincing as Warf squeezes your shoulders.

             “Ah come now, friends! It’s the holiday’s and I have a special surprise for the both of you!” the pink man says as he lets you go and reaches into his back pocket for something.

             “I am not a fan of…surprises Will,” Dark says, still calm and evil like.

             “I surprisingly second that emotion,” you add.

             “But you will both like this, I promise!” And from his back-pocket Warf pulls out what looks like a long string of bells attached to a piece of leather. “Tada! My best plan yet!”

             You blink. “Jingle bells?”

             “Not just any jingle bells!” Warf says, his perfect white teeth shining brightly. “These are Santa’s jingle bells!”

             Suddenly from the crowd, there is a gasp and someone yelling: “It’s the bells! Move, move!” The entire crowd is in an uproar as two little men dressed in green literally jump onto the stage. You at first thought that maybe they were leprechauns but then you quickly realize that they are indeed dressed like Christmas elves. Yeah, that would make more sense…wait…what? “Hand over the bells pink man!” one of the elves demands, as the two little men pull out what appears to slingshots pointed directly at Warfstache.

             Of course, Warfstache pulls out his revolver pointing it directly at the elves. You immediately jump back, holding up your hands in defense against that wild weapon. Of course, it’s not so much the weapon but the person who was wild. “Like hell, I will you Keebler freaks!” he barks.

             You sigh as once again you really don’t want to deal with this craziness right now. “Would someone please tell me what is going on?”

             “Your friend here stole a highly magical item and we of the Elf patrol are here to get it back!” It’s the elf who spoke before and you deem that he is probably the elf leader or something. “Those bells belong to Santa and their magic to grant wishes is for him and him only!”

             “Wait! You’re saying that those bells grant wishes? Seriously?”

             “Yeah, they do!” Warf says still pointing his gun at the elves. “Watch! I want a pink mustache unicorn!” With that, he gives the bells a little jingle and with a poof, a pink mustached unicorn with a flowing pink mane appears. It is beautiful and crazy at the same time and you can’t believe your eyes.

             Dark sees it as well, and you can almost see a smile growing on his face. “Will, I do believe that your insane mind has actually hit on the jackpot this time,” he says, “now if you will hand over the bells to me we can wish away our dear Markiplier and be done with him for good.”

             Your eyes grow wide. “No don’t give it to him Warfstache!”

             Dark turns his eyes on you, the feeling of darkness growing around you. “Stay out of this,” he says, his voice calm but you can feel the anger behind his words.

             “No! I won’t let you hurt Mark!”  

             “You have no choice in the matter,” Dark snaps back, turning his eyes back to Warf. “Hand over the jingle bells Will so that we might be done with this business once and for all!”

             “Okay, here ya- “Warf begins to say.

             “Wait!” you interrupt, trying to think of anything. “Warf if you give the bells to me…I’ll let you eat all the ice cream you want out of my fridge!”

             “Ice cream?” the lead dwarf asks, raising an eyebrow in your direction. “You are trading one of the biggest magical items of this season for ice cream.”

             “Trust me,” you say, gesturing towards Warfstache, “this looney toon would shoot a man dead for a cupcake!”

             “It’s true, I would,” Warf says with a nod. “Especially if it was pink.”

             “Will,” Dark says, his calm demeanor starting to crack, and you can see as he stands a little straighter and his eyes narrow, “you will give me the bells now!”

             “Please Warf!” you beg. “Don’t do this!”

             “Give us the bells pink man!” the elves demand, their weapons still pointed at Warf who is still pointing his gun at them.

             “You’ll have to take them out of my cold dead hands!” Warfstache snaps back.

             Suddenly the entire room goes dark and the crowd lets out a shriek. You feel suddenly a cold sensation run through your body as you feel that things have just gone from bad to worse.

             “Seems you weren’t paying attention…” a glitchy voice says.

             “Oh no,” You gasp. “Anti…”

             Suddenly the room is a lit with a wash of green and on all the television monitors Anti’s glitching face appears, looking as sinister as ever. “You all thought I was gone…but, in fact, I am right here…and I will be taking those bells for myself…”

             “Like hell you will,” Dark snapped, his entire being now just exuding dark energies. You are pretty sure if he could attack Anti through the screen he would.

             “Oh, but I already did…” Anti said, and on screen, he held up not only his favorite knife but the jingle bells as well. “And I think…it’s time for some changes around here…starting with a Dark…under glass…” There was the sound of a ringing of bells and suddenly in the dim light of the room Dark vanishes. “Now if there are no more objections…” Anti says with a sinister grin. “I am going to go have some fun…good night puppets…enjoy your pitiful lives, while you can…”

             And like a flash Anti is gone and the lights come back on. Warfstache lets a little sound of surprise as he finds the hand that had held the jingle bells empty. You find yourself looking around the room, wondering where was…Then you see it on the floor, an obsidian colored hand mirror covered in what looks like black roses. You move over to it quickly and pick it up. There is a small crack in the glass in the bottom corner and staring back at you is the dark prince himself. He angrily pounds on the glass and you realize that things haven’t gone from bad to worse…

             They’ve gone from bad to dangerous.


	2. Chapter 2

 Okay…things are crazy right now…Nothing new. You hold the obsidian hand mirror in your hand and stare down at Dark’s face, seeing the calm and yet feeling the rage reeling off him. You know he’s not angry at you but it rather unsettling. Kind of like the feeling of knowing that one of the dark realms worst demons having a set of jingle bells that grants wishes…Oh right, that happened!

             “This is all your fault pink man!”

             “Bring it on short man!”

             You sigh as you turn and find Warfstache, gun in hand, arguing with what you are assuming are two Christmas Elves given their height and attire. Right now, you could care less what they are as you all have bigger problems now. So, you grab a hold of Warf’s ear making the man yelp in pain. “I need a word,” you hiss at him, before turning to the elves as well, “with all three of you! Come on!” 

             “Goodnight folks! Ow!” Warf calls back as you drag by the ear off stage, with the elves jangling off the both of you. And you don’t let go until you arrive in the green room.

             “Okay, first let me just say that I am livid that once again I have been dragged into your craziness Warfstache!” You say, pointing a finger at your crazy friend. “And two, do you realize what has just happened? Anti, one of the worst demons in all the dark realms has magical jingle bells that grant wishes! Do you know what that means? We are all going to be dead in a matter of minutes!”

             “That would be impossible,” the more talkative elf says.

             “Okay wait,” you say, turning to the elves. “how is that impossible mister elf man?”

             “First of all, the name is Jingle.” Then he nods his head over to the other elf. “This here is Jangle, my partner. He doesn’t talk much.” Jangle nodded at that statement, his bells jingling loudly. “And the reason I say that it’s impossible because while the bells can grant wishes they are filled with Christmas magic and Christmas magic doesn’t kill people.”

             “Now they tell us,” Dark says from his prison.

             “Oh, great you can still hear and talk,” you say sarcastically, glancing down at the dark man, who you can tell is trying to keep his composure. If it weren’t for the situation you might have found this very funny but instead, you try to focus on the task at hand. “Okay, so we don’t have to worry about death anytime soon. But Anti still has jingle bells that can grant wishes and I guarantee he’s not in the mood to wish for peace on earth. So, Jingle, is there anything else we should know about these bells?”

             “They are one of Santa’s most important tools in being able to answer the wishes of people across the globe,” Jingle says, before sending a glare over at Warfstache, “that is it was until this idiot stole them for his own greedy needs!”

             You see Warfstache go for his gun and you quickly give his hand as a slap. “No, don’t even think about it,” you say. “Focus Jingle! Is there anything about the bells that could possibly help us figure out what Anti might be using them for!”

             “Well, the bells are at their strongest when it hits Christmas Eve and lose their power after Christmas is over.”

             You glance at the clock. “Okay it’s nine now, so it’s three hours until the bells are fully charged…” Then you pause as you realize something. “Wait, Jingle, you say that the bells can’t kill people but how are they on breaking open the veil between worlds?”

             Jingle shrugs. “I don’t know, no one has ever tried it, but I assume it would be possible if the bells are fully charged. Why?”

             “Because while Anti can somewhat manipulate this world, he doesn’t have the power to use his full power due to his not having a body on this side of the veil.” And you can’t help but shoot Dark a cold look. “Unlike some people who take bodies from other people!”

             There is a little twitch of Dark’s mouth almost like a smile. “You should be happy that I took this broken thing off your hands,” he says, taking a moment to crack in his neck which makes you cringe.

             “What are you trying to say?” Jingle says. “That the dark one known as Anti wants to open the veil, so he can come to this world.”

             “That’s exactly what I’m saying,” you say, “and if Anti is bad a half power behind the screen then just imagine how bad he will be with full power because if that comes to pass, death will be the least of our worries!”

             “So, we need to find him, and before the bells reach full power!” Jangle says, his partner jingling his agreement next to him.

             “That is where I can help,” Dark says. He can see the mistrust on your face and again his face twitches. “Anti and I are both from the shadowy world, we are connected in a way. I can sense his energy from miles away. I can track him for you.”

             “And what exactly is in it for you?” You ask, knowing full well not to trust a word out of the snake’s mouth.

             “For one, defeating Anti gets me out of this prison I find myself in,” he says, shifting to stand straighter, “and two, if Anti wins then I will have no chance of getting my revenge. So, in the end, it’s a win/win for all involved.”

             You are not quite sure that you trust this idea, not with who it’s coming from.

             “Do you really have any other choice?” Dark says as if reading your thoughts (which you don’t think he can do…you think…).

             You sigh. You hate it when he’s right. “Alright, but any funny business and I swear Dark, I will toss this mirror into the deepest hole I can find.”

             “Ooo! I smell a Christmas special!” Warf cheers suddenly as out of nowhere he pulls out a video camera out of nowhere. He points it directly at you and comes up very close to your face. “The amazing Warfstache and his friends, off to save Christmas from the evil demon Anti! This is going to be a hit!”

             “Warfstache, please,” you sigh as you put your hand over the lens. You are nice enough not to mention that it was his fault that Christmas was in danger of being ruined in the first place.

             “Hey!” Jangle interjected, “time is ticking, and we don’t have time to fooling around with this flaming bag of reindeer poop!”

             You once again slap Warfs hand as he goes for his gun. “Don’t!” you warn him.

             “Will, if you please, I need the assistant of your warping powers,” Dark says, “I will guide you.”

             “Got it!” Warfstache answers, making the camera disappear as quickly as it came. “Ready one…two…”

              And you blink, holding tightly to the mirror your hand, and suddenly you are no longer standing in the green room but outside in the cold.  You look around and find that your little ragtag group is now standing in a snowy forest area. The moon is full and bright above you, lighting the world so you can see. “Where are we exactly?” you ask after a moment to get yourself together.

             Jangle’s bells shake, and Jingle looks rather shocked. “It can’t be…” They both suddenly take off at a run through the trees. You and Warfstache share a surprised look before you give chase. It’s not long before you burst out of the trees and come to a small town. Everything around you is painted in cheery greens and reds, with candy canes and wreaths everywhere. There are Christmas lights hung from every roof, but none are lit…in fact the whole place is dark. It looks like a happy and yet very creepy ghost town. “That son of a ninny muggins!” Jingle growled as Jangle fell to his knees. “He had to attack Christmas at its very heart!”

             “Wait is this…” You start to speak but as you step forwards your foot catches on something and you fall into the snow, still holding tight to the mirror thankfully. You yelp as you hit the cold snow, not prepared for the cold, nor are you prepared for what you see what tripped you. It’s the clearly frozen body of what appears to be an elf dressed fairly like Jingle and Jangle. This elf’s face is twisted into that of sheer terror, his body seemingly frozen in a state of trying to escape something. You can only guess that something was probably Anti. As you take a moment to look around you realize that there are many more frozen elves all around you, all of them frozen in some sort of position giving away their terror.

             “This is the elf village,” Jingle says as you get to your feet. You can hear the sadness in his voice as he speaks. “This is our home…at least it was.”

             You wrap your arms around yourself, fighting against the cold. You knew that Anti worked fast but not this fast. Really when you imagined Santa’s home you always imagined jolly and happy. This was just creepy.

             “How heartbreaking! Perfect for pulling the heartstrings!” Warf says and when you look over at him you realize that he’s once again got his camera out, filming the scene around you.

             “Warf, could you please be a little more helpful?” You ask almost pleading.

             Warfstache looks at you and then smiles. “Yes of course!” he says giving a snap of his fingers. And instantly you are wearing a pink coat and matching boots.

             “Thank you,” you say, smiling as you feel warm again.

             “Good, now hold this!” Warfstache says, thrusting the camera into your hand. “Now you know how to run one of these things, don’t you? I mean you do it all the time for Mark.”

             “Warfstache do you really think that this an appropriate time to- “

             “Just start recording!” And you sigh as you bring up the camera to eye level, which you do one-handedly with a great deal of skill, and Warfstache begins to speak. “My dear viewers, we have arrived in the home of the elves where there is usually love and happiness, but now only heartbreak and sadness. But do not fear dear faithful watchers, I, Wilford Warfstache, have come once to bring justice to this world! I will save Christmas and bring back that which has been- “Warfstaches’s words are cut off as he a snowball hits his face.

             “You monster!” Jingle cries as he leaps and grabs a hold of Warfstache by the suspenders, pulling the taller man down till they are nose to nose. “This is our home! And you dare use it for new reel?! You are sick!”

             “I am a journalist; your ugly little game of thrones rejects!” Wasatch snipes back, his eyes blazing fire. “I am doing my duty to the world to bring the hard-hitting stories!”

“I’ll give you a hard-hitting story you pink haired troll!” 

             “Guys, we don’t have time for this!” You say, the camera suddenly disappearing. “We still have to find Anti!” The sound of bells makes you look down and you see Jangle pointing to something in the distance. You look to where he is pointing, beyond the houses…and there you see it. Your eyes grow wider as you’re eyes slowly begin to pan upwards. “Guys…look…”

             Jingle and Warfstache turn to look, and they can see it as well. A towering icy fortress, covered with spiky towers and surrounded by a giant wall of dark icy cold. It’s quite impressive looking, as well as foreboding. And you realize it’s got Anti’s name written all over it. You glance at Dark. “You think Anti left us a door?”

             “What do you think?” Dark answers, his tone mocking.

             “I’m assuming no,” you sigh.

             “And you can also assume that Anti has that entire place protected with dark magic,” Dark added, now sounding smug, “So Will’s teleporting will not work here.”

             “That means we got to find another way over that wall,” you say, trying to think.

             At that moment Jangles shakes his bells rather hard and a smile slips across Jingles face. “That’s genius Jangle! Come on, we got just the ticket!” Once again, the two elves take off through the snow with you and Warfstache following. It’s not long before you come to what looks like a giant barn structure painted in a cheery red color. The large doors creak as Jangle and Jingle pull the door open. As they do, you see the faint glimmer of metal in the moonlight. “Is that…”

             “Yep,” Jingle says, rather proudly. “This is one of Santa’s many back up sleighs, a beauty in design and technology. This beauty will get us up and over that wall in no time.”

             “And is Santa cool with us using this?” you ask raising an eyebrow. “Wait, where is Santa in all of this anyways?”

             “Santa is currently having his me time before the big night,” Jingle answers, “he’s currently off seeing Hamilton with the missus. But if he were here he would say that we have all rights to do what is needed to save Christmas. Hopefully, by the time he gets back, we’ll have this all sorted out.”

             “Seriously?” you ask. You admire Jingle’s confidence in the situation, although you are not so sure. “And so what we have to hook up some reindeer or something?”

             “Pft, reindeer,” Jingle says, rolling his eyes. And suddenly he hits a button on the side of the sleigh and suddenly two large rocket engine’s fold out on the back, along with a console and a steering wheel at the front. Wow, You guess that even Santa needs to keep up with the times.

             Warfstache’s eyes grow as wide as his smile. “I call driver!” he says as he starts forwards, but you quickly catch his arm.

             “Woah no,” you admonish, “we are leaving this to the experts, and in this case, it’s the elves.”

             “Yeah, you’ve caused enough trouble already!” Jingle says, to which Warfstache sticks out his tongue at the offending elf. “Just give me and Jangle a minute to make sure that the tank is filled up and then we can get going.”

             “Oh, can I go look at the engines?” Warfstache asks, sounding like the excited child he was. “I do so love things that explode! Please, please!”

             You sigh but nod. “Fine, but don’t touch anything!” you warn him. He giggles as he bounces away and you shake your head. You don’t know if that was a good move or bad but at least you made him happy.

             “You are enjoying this aren’t you?” Dark says suddenly.

             You roll your eyes as you lift the mirror up to your face. “Yeah, being dragged on another crazy adventure that could end in my death,” you say sarcastically, “I’m having a wonderful time.”

             “I meant that you are enjoying me in my current…” Dark waves his hand around. “place.”

             Leave it to Dark to bring it back to him, the self-centered bastard. Still… “The ironic humor of the situation isn’t lost on me,” you confess, smirking as you feel a lot of smugness at the fact that the table of turned. “Tell me Dark, how does it feel to be under glass? Having as much fun as I did when you left me behind?”

             Dark shifts, looking slightly uncomfortable suddenly. “I did it to protect you,” he says. “Putting you in that mirror was to save your soul. If I hadn’t then you would have been trapped just like us.”

             “No, you don’t get to play that bullshit card!” You say, pointing an angry finger at Dark. “You needed a body!”

             “What I meant was that Damien wanted to protect you. It was his final wish.”

             Dark’s mention of your friend makes you pause. The thoughts you had earlier of Damien’s handsome face come swimming back and you feel your heart start to quicken. No, your mind reminds you, he’s using you. He’s trying to manipulate your feelings. “Low blow,” you say, your voice softer now but still not happy, “pulling the Damien card. You don’t get to use his memory against me.”

             There is another flicker of what appears to be an upturn in Dark’s lips. “You still believe that he might still be, inside don’t you? That there might be something of Damien’s good self here in this body?”

             You still don’t think that Dark can read minds but still what he’s saying is eerily creepy. “So, what if I do?” you ask, trying to remain strong, “If Damien was still in there and he wasn’t completely corrupted, I doubt you would tell me…”

             Dark’s eyes focus on you and for a moment you swear you can see Damien staring back at you, smiling just like he used to. “Maybe if you were willing to give in to me…I might be persuaded to let you see him again…old friend…”

             “Hey!” Jingle’s voice breaks you out of your trance as you quickly look away from the mirror. “We’re all gassed up and ready to go!”

             You nod as you swallow down the lump that suddenly formed in your throat. Damn it! You let him get to you. You loosen your grip on the handle of the mirror slightly as you try to relax again. Just focus on the task at hand, you remind yourself, don’t think about anything else but getting those jingle bells back. You slip into the back of the sleigh with Jangle who jingles at you. You are not sure what he is saying exactly but you hazard a guess. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you say, probably also saying it to convince yourself.

             Jingle climbs into the front, glance back at the both of you. “Okay, please buckle your seat belts and- HEY!”

             Suddenly, and not surprisingly Warfstache climbs into the driver seat. “Let’s get moving!” he cries as he begins hitting buttons.

             “Warfstache!” you cry but it’s too late. You can feel the engines kick off and you are being jettisoned forwards at harsh speed. Jingle lets out a cry as he falls from the front seat into the back between you and Jangle. You three scream (Or rather Jangle just dings) as you hang on for dear life as Warf directs the speeding sleigh upwards into the sky. You grip hard to Dark’s mirror, holding it close to your chest, as you close your eyes praying that this is all a dream, please just let this be a dream!


	3. Chapter 3

You’re alive. For a moment you really thought it was the end, that this was one crazy venture too many. As that sleigh started towards the ground you found yourself wondering if this would be the moment Warf Stache manages to fully kill you but as you open your eyes again you find yourself in a state of not being dead. You are on the ground, unbruised and unbroken. You sit up and look around. Beside you lies the obsidian mirror. You pick it up and find Dark’s face still staring back at you, no more broken than before. “Did you…”

Dark shifts just a bit. “I need you to help fix this mess,” he says, darkness pulsating around him. “Don’t expect it to happen again.”

You think about thanking him but at the same time, you don’t think it would be well received so you keep your lips shut. Instead, you get to your feet and finally take in the sleigh, broken and burning not far away. Well, at least you made it over the wall. The sound of coughing makes you jump a little and then you see two small bodies crawling out of the wreckage. It’s the elves, Jingle and Jangle. You rush over to them. “You guys okay?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Jingle says as he and Jangle rise to their feet. They are covered in soot but don’t look to be bleeding or broken. “Takes a lot more to beat a Christmas elf. Ten-time tougher than usual elves, especially those Keebler.” Jangle’s bell’s chime as he nods.

You are about to say something when you happen to look up and see a bit of pink. It’s a body, laying in the snow. “Warfstache!” you cry as you rush over to him. You kneel next to him, reaching out to touch his pale face. He doesn’t respond, and his eyes are closed.

“I’m so sorry… I think he’s dead,” Jingle says coming over, removing his little-pointed hat. Jangle does the same both looking solemn.

You smile knowingly. “Nah, he’s fine.”

Jingle looks at you in surprise. “What? He’s not breathing, and he looks like death! Plus, he was just in an epic crash. I’m sorry but I think your friend is dead.”

“Yeah, well, my friend also just happens to be a magical creature known as an ego, and they can’t die by normal means. He’ll be up in one…two…”

As if on cue, Warfstache’s eyes pop open and he sits up with a big smile on his face. Both elves jump back in surprise as you just smile. “That was a rush!” Warf says, like a happy child. “Can we do that again?”

You roll your eyes and give his nose a little bop with your finger. “No,” you say, standing and offering your hand down to him. “We’ve got work to do.” Warf pouts but takes your hand allowing you to help him to his feet.

Jangle still looks shocked as he replaces his hat. “What are you, people?”

“That’s a long story,” you confess, as you turn back to the fortress beyond, “Now we have to-whoa!” Your words are cut off as you turn and find yourself face to face with an army of snowmen, all with grinning faces and holding, in their stick hands, knives that look very sharp. All the knives glitter in the moonlight, gleaming like a million pretty instruments of death. “Were those there before?”

“Don’t know, but I don’t know if I like the look of them,” Jingle says, narrowing his eyes at the army in front of you. Jangle meanwhile looks frightened as he hides behind your leg, his bells jingling as he shivers.

“Oh please, it’s a bunch of people made from snow, hardly anything to fear,” Warf says, with a wave of his hand. Then he grabs a hold of your hand. “Come on this Christmas special isn’t going to write its self!”

“Warfstache!” You cry but it falls on deaf ears as you are tugged beyond the front line of the evil looking snowmen, still carrying Dark’s mirror. You can hear the elves following behind you, but you don’t dare look back. You feel as if all the snowmen are watching you, their dark eyes burning into your soul as you try not to be afraid of each sharp instrument you pass. “Warfstache don’t you think we should slow down?” you ask.

It’s not Warfstache who answers but Dark, in his usual monotone: “No, you should run…run now.”

“Wait…what?” But as the words leave your mouth, you see a flash of something and you jump to the side, just as a stick arm brings down a knife directly towards your face. You look up just in time to see a grinning snow man’s head turn around like the kid in the exorcist, looking directly towards you. Its eyes glow red as it raises it’s knife again. “Warfstasche!” you cry grabbing his hand. And suddenly there is the sound of a gunshot and you feel the splattering of snow on your face as the snow man’s head explodes all over you. It’s quite graphic even if it’s just snow. You look over at Warf who is holding his smoking revolver.

“Not today snowman,” he says, momentarily looking like an action star.

Suddenly all the snow men’s heads begin to turn, their eyes glowing, with knives pointing directly at you. You are surrounded by pointy objects. “Oh shit…” you whisper as Warfstache raises his gun again.

“Be ready to run!” he says, and you nod. You know in your heart he knows what he’s doing. If there is anything left of the Colonel in there… With two more shots, he manages to take out heads of the snowmen in your way just as you dodge the snowmen in back! And suddenly you are running, not looking back. You can hear the gunshots, trying not to let it get to you as you just keep focusing on the large foreboding archways of the fortress beyond. You feel Dark’s aura pulsating as you somehow manage to dodge each knife strike. You wonder if he’s helping…you don’t dare ask…Finally, you make it to the columns that make up the fortress with Jangle and Jingle at you heals. But as you turn back you can see…” WARFSTACHE!”

He is still amongst the battle, fighting, and shooting! You feel the want to go and help him, but Jingle and Jangle are already moving. “You go ahead!” Jingle calls back, “we’ll help your friend! You have to save Christmas!”

“But- “You start but Dark is one step ahead.

“There isn’t time, leave them!”

“But- “You look out again at the battlefield as the elves with their slingshots fire away. Then you catch sight of Warfstache, blowing the head off another snowman. He catches your eye and smiles in his way before he is swallowed up by snowmen with their large knives. You worry about him.

“They can’t kill him!” Dark snaps, “go now!”

You know he’s right and even though you wish to go back, you instead run through the archways and into the fortress. Soon the gunshots fade in the background as you find yourself surrounded by walls of cold unforgiving ice. You find yourself in one long hallway, with only one way to go. The inside of the fortress is just as foreboding as the outside, and as you look up above you, you see large hanging (and very pointy) stalactites. You guess that Anti takes his knife imagery very seriously. The entire place is lit up in a strange green glow, which seems to emanate from somewhere unseen. The whole thing makes you feel uneasy as your movements go from a run to a careful walk. You realize that now you are in the belly of the demon, and that thought makes your heart begin to beat hard.

“You’re scared.”

You jump a little as Dark speaks. “Well yeah,” you say, “I mean this is Anti we’re talking about.”

“What is about him that scares you?”

“What?” You stop a moment and raise the mirror to look at Dark’s face. “Why do you want to know?”

Dark shifts as he tilts his head. “I simply wonder what my old friend finds scary about a fool who isn’t even as powerful as me.”

You roll your eyes as you should have known this was about ego (lol). “Anti is a pure demon and a killer,” you tell him, “he is unpredictable and because of my connection to you he hates me, and being his enemy isn’t a good thing.” Then looking at his stupid Dark face you sigh. You are going to regret this.” Don’t let this go to your dark little head or anything, but you scare me in a different way. I know you are powerful, I’ve seen what you can do, and what’s worse is that you know my secrets, you know what gets me going and that makes you a worse enemy by far.”

“And yet you still defy me at every turn,” Dark says raising an eyebrow, “why?”

“I would have thought that would have been obvious.” You let out a breath and then stare directly into Dark’s deep eyes. “Because of you, I have lost a dear friend and my former life. You might terrify me but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you or any other dark realm demon take away any more of the people I care about. That’s why I will not let you kill Mark and why I will always stand against you!” These are words that you have wanted to say for a long time and now that you have gotten to say them you feel rather free.

“Move.”

“What?” That was not the answer you thought you would get.

“I said move, now!”

You hear rumbling from above and you look up in time to see one of the pointed spikes above you fall. You let out a cry as you dive forwards, out of the way of death.

“You might want to start running…” Dark suggests.

You hear the rumbling and cursing under your breath you take off at a run down the hallway. You hear things falling behind you, but you don’t dare look back. Just keep running! There is a light at the end of the hallway and as soon as you are close enough you dive for it. You just manage to make it as the last spike hits the ground right behind you. Out of breath, you lay on your back in the snow, cursing Anti in your head for making you run so much.

“You’re welcome,” you hear Dark say smugly.

“Shut up,” you snap back. As soon as you feel able to breathe again you get back to your feet. The room you are in is a big open area, still surrounded by ice and bathed in the eerie green light. In the middle of the room is a pile of what looks like computer screens. It’s kind of an odd sight given that everything else is ice. But it’s what’s in front of the computer screens that gets your attention: a set of jingle bells on leather. No, it couldn’t be that easy…You approach cautiously, moving slow and keeping your eyes and ears open. You manage to make it all the way over to the bells without anything happening. You even manage to pick them up. “I don’t understand,” you say to yourself. “I would have expected something to happen.”

“Maybe the green fool ran away like the coward he is,” Dark suggested, making you roll your eyes in response.

Suddenly all the computer screens click on at once and you see Anti’s demonic face glowing in all of them. “It’s not nice to call people names, Dark!” he hisses as you feel his eyes boring into you.

“Oh shit!” you manage to say just as a powerful force slams into you sending you flying backward. The mirror and the bells go flying from your hands as you hit the ground, sliding across the ice as you lay there in a daze on your back. You moan as you feel a lump forming on the back of your head. And then you see Anti’s face and your eyes grow wide. He’s standing directly above you.

“Well, if it isn’t my old friend the former district attorney.” Anti grin grows bigger as his knife appears in his hand. “If I remember correctly the last time we met…you were making me look like a fool…”

Your heart is in your throat as you try to scramble backward, trying to get to your feet. You manage to scramble back to the ice wall, managing to get up on your feet with the cold ice pressing on your back. But before you can do anything Anti has his hand around your neck and you gag as he cuts off your air flow. You grab his wrist, but it tightens in a way that makes you think if he wanted to him could break your neck. Anti’s face is suddenly very close to yours.

“You know…I really was hoping that you would be too late…I would have liked to show you my true…power…” he says as you struggle. “But then again…when do I ever get you all to myself without Dark or that pink…idiot to protect you!” Anti raises his knife towards your face, bringing it close to your cheek. “I think I’ll gut you like a fish…make you look really pretty…don’t you think that will be fun…” And you hiss as you feel the knife cut across your cheek, feeling the blood dribble behind it.

But then see a flash of pink. “Pink knight!” you hiss and for a moment Anti looks confused.

“What?”

A gunshot hits the air and suddenly Anti vanishes, avoiding the bullet directed at his head! You gasp as you can suddenly breathe again, coughing as you lean against the wall, trying to gather the air you were missing. And there is Warfstache, gun in hand, rushing to your side.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says with a big smile on his face, “did I miss anything?” His smile fades as he looks at your face. “Oh, you’re face- “

“It’s okay,” you say, still coughing a little, giving him a small smile. “I’m fine, the pink knight saved the wizard once again.” And you are glad to see Warf smile although it is only momentarily as you both see Anti appear again, and in his hands, are the jingle bells.

“You weren’t paying attention…” Anti says, a grin spreading like the cut on his neck. “And now it is time…for Anti to come home…”

“I’m afraid not,” a new voice booms.

Suddenly, like magic, the bells fly from Anti’s hands to yours. You look and there stands a jolly fat man in a red and white suit. You can’t believe it, you were just saved by…” Santa!” And Santa smiles at you, his cheeks rosy and his face jolly, just as you always pictured it. Beside him are Jingle and Jangle, who look relatively unharmed as well.

Anti screams as he glares at Santa, pointing his knife directly at the fat man. “Your stupid fat- “

“My dear,” Santa says looking at you, “would you please do the honors.”

You smile as you turn to Anti, giving the bells a jingle. “I wish Anti would go back to go back to his little black hole in the dark realm and all his wishes would be undone.”

Anti turns his murderous look on you. “I’m always here…always watching…” he says.

You shrug. “So, what else is new,” you say as a magical light envelope everything.

The next thing you know you are back in elf town, but it is no longer dark. Instead, it is all lit up and there are little elves running about everywhere, singing Christmas songs, and just generally being happy. In the distance, you can no longer see Anti’s dark fortress, and everything is as you figure it should be. You smile as you feel Christmas is once again as it should be.

“You have done it again and made the world all light and magic,” a dark voice says sarcastically behind you. “Well done.”

“Oh. that right,” you say turning to see Dark standing there in all his glory, “you’re back to your normal self.” That’s when you remember the bells in your hand. You look at them and then at Dark.

Dark’s eyes grow cold as he stands straighter. “Don’t you dare,” he says softly, threatening.

And you really do think about it. Just one jingle.

“I’m afraid it won’t work my dear.” It’s Santa’s voice again. You turn just as he puts a hand on your shoulder. He has a small sad smile on his face. “I’m afraid that the spell containing your friend’s soul is too powerful. Even Christmas magic won’t be able to break it. I’m sorry.”

You feel your heart sink. You turn back to where Dark was standing but he’s gone. You sigh as you realize that it was a hopeless idea, to begin with. But before you can think any more negative thoughts, Warfstache appears and you find yourself in front of his camera.

“Christmas is saved! Thanks to the brave actions of brilliant Wilford Warfstache and his friends! Anything to say before I send this to editing? Something to end this Christmas special right?”

“Shouldn’t we point out that you almost destroyed Christmas in the first place and it was really Santa who saved this holiday?”

“Yeah,” Jingle snaps, appearing by Santa’s side. “if it weren’t for you stealing those bells we wouldn’t have been in this mess!”

“I do believe that someone should have called me when things got out of hand,” Santa says shaking a finger in the elf’s direction.

Jingle looks down at the snow, looking guilty. “Sorry Santa, I figured that as your right-hand elves we could handle it.”

Santa shakes his head but smiles. “Well, no harm done this time, just remember that no matter where I am you should call me,” he says. Then he turns to the camera. “And for you Wilford Warfstache…” Suddenly Santa’s eyes grow dark as you feel a cold chill run up your back. “…I know where you live!”

You quickly slap Warf’s hand as you see it going for his gun. “You can’t shoot Santa!”

“Aww,” Warf says as he pouts.

“May I please have my bells back?” Santa asks, “I have many things to do for later…” You hand Santa the bells, although somewhat reluctantly… but you figure that kind of power is better in the hands of the red man.

“I’m ready to go home and go to bed,” you say with a small yawn, “care to poof us home Warf?”

“Wait!” Santa plucks a bell off the leather belt like grape off the vine and places it in your hand. “This is a wish for you, for all the trouble you went through tonight.”

You look at the shiny bell in your hand. It has a beautiful silvery gleam and you swear although it is made of metal it is still somewhat warm. It fills you with a good feel and you smile. “Thank you, Santa.” You are a little surprised as Santa leans in close to you and whispers:

“It can’t fix everything, but know that it can, for a little while, bend the rules.”

You are confused and are about to ask what Santa is talking about, but you feel the familiar whoosh of Warfstache’s powers and instantly you are back in your bedroom. It feels weird as you stand there, almost like a dream…If it weren’t for the fact that Warfstache is standing there with you and you are still holding the jingle bell in your hand. “Hey Warf,” you say after a moment. “I think I got a good end for your Christmas special.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Us going to bed after we say…”

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.


End file.
